ice breaker.

 Time for some outlet.

I walked into class today with a superior feeling of confidence, friendliness, and a welcoming attitude.  The routine ice breaker activity my professor had us do was beyond simple, and the first to complete it and turn it in would "get a prize" at the beginning of Wednesday's class.


"What's your name?"
"Do you own a silver car?"
"Were you born in the state of Virginia?"
"How many siblings do you have?"
"Can you play a musical instrument?"
"Do you like dark chocolate?"


Questions like this.

I won.

Meeting new people, sharing laughter, and putting myself out there is never a problem for me.  It's always nice to learn about someone new, hear their stories, and learn all that there is to learn about them [or at least what they're willing to share].


So why is that when I'm around certain people, I find it so difficult to maintain this kind of solid composure?

What is it that I'm holding back?

What is it that I'm so afraid to expose?

Why do I feel like I want to simultaneously be right there next to them, and across the room at the same time?

Why is it that when they speak to me, I can't look them in the eye for more than 2 seconds at a time without turning away and attempting to focus my attention on something else?



Maybe it's because when I see them, all I want to do is smile.

Maybe it's because when I talk to them, all I want to do is laugh.

Maybe it's because when I know that they're around, all I want to do is feel their presence.






Maybe it's because I like them too much to function correctly.





Oh, I am so hopeless.  hawhawharhar.