RIOT!

crushcrushcrush. obviously.


blah.


I had the wildest dream last night. I'm not 100% sure about what on earth this was about, but it was totally...interesting, nonetheless. The fact that I can remember all of this so vividly is a surprise to me.

~/~

So I was at a restaurant with someone (who I'm pretty sure was my mom). It was one of those diner-on-the-side-of-the-road joints.

Very mom 'n pop.

The waitress, who was a spunky, pierced, tall brunette with a hazy look in her eyes and pale skin, had brought over our menus and tried her best to take our orders. A futile attempt, considering I never know what I want to eat when I go out to these places. I can literally sit there for 15 minutes and be clueless. However, going out was great for me, because I hadn't eaten in a few days, so I was starving -- with a taste for absolutely nothing -- and couldn't wait to eat.

"I'm so sorry! I'm terrible at this," I apologized, hanging my head low. I always feel like I give waitresses a completely new meaning of the term "waitress." They literally are waiting on me.
"It's okay, dude," she assured me with a friendly nod. "Take your time, man." I blushed, but felt relieved as she walked away.


She was hip. I liked that.


After her third round coming by the table, and showing no sign of annoyance, I finally ordered something, more or less out of pity for her and not so much because I had made up my mind (I don't quite remember, but knowing me, it might have been something chicken-related). The waitress put in the order and came back with a glass of water for me and some sweetened tea for my mom.

During a break in our conversation about school and girls, I took a sip from my water and glanced around the restaurant.

I looked at a table about 3 tables down from where I was sitting, and found - to my shock -none other than Hayley Williams drinking and laughing with some friends.
I'm not a diehard Paramore fan, but I do listen to them and can't deny how catchy they are -- and how hot their lead singer is.

To keep myself from staring, I averted my attention to my glass of water, trying hard to listen in on what Hayley and her friends were talking about. The ice was beginning to melt now.

Is that really her? I thought to myself as I poked around at the ice with my straw. I was dumbfounded, yet excited at the same time. I have never known what to do in situations where I see a celebrity, and this case was no different.

Just to reassure myself that this was indeed that nearly iconic pop-rock goddess, I allowed myself to look up one more time.

Keeping my head low, I glanced up under my eyelashes.



Yup. It's her. Dear God.



She looked fantastic. Her style just screamed "FUN!" She was wearing a black hoodie with tight and tatterred charcoal jeans to match, and the neon colored shoe laces on her black Converses were a nice touch. Her hair, vibrant as always, swooped gracefully across her forehead down to her imperfect, yet cute and exuberant smile. (I find that the tiny gap between her two front teeth adds to her charm!)

I found it strange that she wasn't sitting with her bandmates, but rather, some other younger folks. It didn't matter. I wasn't interested in who she was sitting with.

It was hard to pinpoint exactly what it was that was so captivating about her.

"CHRIS," my mom finally interjected, her eyes following my stare.

It was at that moment when Hayley's eyes flashed over to meet mine staring at her like a starstruck little boy. Startled, I quickly looked away -- down at my glass, over at the waitress, the dancing tail on the cat clock hanging on the wall -- anything to break my nervousness and keep myself from looking back at her in fear of her still looking at me.

Oh God, is she still looking? What are they talking about? Did she say anything to her friends about the dude across the restaurant staring at her? Why are they still laughing? Are they laughing at me?!

Quickly, I threw my straw aside and gulped down the rest of my water.

"Aaaaand lunch is served," said the waitress as she came up to our table with our food, leaving a trail of steam from the kitchen. "Wow. You must have been thirsty!" she joked, as she glanced over at Hayley, apparently trying to cut the obviously awkward tension with her own imaginary knife.

WTF? Don't look over there! I screamed in my head.

"Yeah, you could say that," I nervously laughed, smiling with my eyes showing no joyful emotion whatsoever.

About fifteen minutes later, Hayley and her friends left the restaurant. Sad day, right?

~/~

Well, not quite.


The next day, I went to Wal-Mart with my friend Patrick to shop for a toy for my nephew. I'd been wanting to get something for him for my next trip down to my sister's house.

"What are you going to get him?" Patrick asked, looking around as though he'd never been in the toy section.
I examined some of the childrens' musical instruments, among other toys, pressing buttons and trying them out for myself.
"I'm not sure," I said. "I'm trying not to get him anything too loud, ya know? My sister hates toys that make a ton of noise. It always ends up in the closet."

Patrick laughed. "Don't you love wasting money?"

"Well, I mean, if he can play with it, then it's not a waste. Just to see the kid smile and hear him ask me to open the packaging up for him is worth it for me. It's so cute." I bit my lip. "But when it gets thrown in the closet during the first week, it totally feels like a waste sometimes, doesn't it!?"

We weaved our way through the aisles, settling on an aisle with some Transformers action figures, when we both heard a ruckus in the next aisle over. It sounded like a playful lightsaber fight between a guy and a girl.

That voice....you can't be friggin' serious.


Curiously, I made my way around the corner to see what was going on. I spotted a young guy, dressed in a flannel shirt and jeans with short messy hair. As he shifted to the left, I saw he was dueling a short, stylish, orange/yellow/red-haired girl...

You guessed it. HAYLEY WILLIAMS.

I ran back into the previous aisle to tell my buddy.
"DUDE. I just saw this chick at a restaurant yesterday, and now she's in the next aisle over...this is crazy," I panted, heart racing.
"Who?" Patrick asked.
"The hot chick from Paramore," I answered, still trying to catch my breath.
"Pfft, whatever."
"I'm not lying, man," I insisted.

From the look on my face, Patrick could tell I wasn't lying. Now instilled with a bit of curiosity and seemingly convinced, Patrick parted two of the toy boxes on the shelf to peer into the next aisle.

"Whoa. You weren't lying," he whispered, gulping.
"Told ya."
"Did she see you yesterday?"
"Yeah. It was awkward as hell."
"Did you say anything to her?"
I hesitated. "No."
"Pussy," Patrick teased.
"Whatever dude, I was shocked to see her in the first place," I shrugged. "Plus, she was with a bunch of friends. You don't just walk up to a group of people and be like, 'AHMAHGAWD HAYLEY YOU ARE SO AWESHUM!'"
"True. Either way, she's going to see you again today. So you might as well suck it up and say something. If you don't and she sees you, she's gonna think you're stalking her. "

Patrick was right.

I let out a despondent sigh. Well, all or nothing. I picked up whatever toy was directly in front of me, and casually walked around the corner, pretending not to notice Hayley and her friend dueling. When I'd finally felt like I'd gathered enough strength, I glanced over at her, furrowed my eyebrows, and waved.

They stopped horsing around.
"I'll catch ya later dude," she called out to her friend as she walked over to me.

"Hey," I said, acting as though this mere coincidence bothered me as much as I thought it might have bothered her. My chest was pounding.
"Hey," she nodded. "So man...who are you? And why do I keep bumping into you?" she smiled.

That smile! I choked. Her smile was relieving. I guess she wasn't weirded out.

"I'm Chris. I -- I think I saw you at the, uh, restaurant yesterday?" I answered, squinting my eyes as if I was unsure.
"I think so...were you okay? I could have sworn you looked sick or something!"
I looked down. I could feel my face getting warmer and my palms getting sweaty. Is she always this friendly? I asked myself.
"Hehe, no, I was just, uh --" Hayley lowered her head to get into my line of sight. She brushed her hair to the side as our eyes met.
"It's okay," she winked. "I know what it's like." Her giggle was comforting.

"I'm Hayley," she said softly, putting out her hand to shake mine.

~/~

Before I knew it, Hayley and I were at the mall walking around and shopping. We talked about our lives, our history, our families, our tastes in music, our failed relationships and lessons learned...

It was nice; nice to meet someone so down to earth and eager to learn. It was a great friendship in the making.

We walked into the music stores, comparing CD's we each owned, and suggesting music we thought we each would like.

Eventually, we made our way into one of those hip girl clothing stores; the kind of store you would expect to see someone like her to shop at. As she was shopping for clothes, she told me she'd be right back as she went into the dressing rooms.

"Don't you go anywhere!" she exclaimed.
"If you say so," I assured her, raising my eyebrows as though I took her harmless threat seriously.

While waiting for her, I played with my iPhone, looking through the pictures she and I had taken throughout the day -- photos of laughter and joy. No posing required. They were truly in-the-moment-pictures; the best kind.

Moments later, she came out of the dressing room.

"Tada!" she cheered. She was wearing the most adorable dress. The dress was sky blue with white polka dots, and it looked great on her.

I couldn't help but cover my mouth with both hands, as I was taken back by how pretty she looked in it.

"You and me, sir, are going to dinner tonight," she playfully demanded.
"But Hayley, I have no clue what to wear!"
"No problem dude, come here. I picked out something for you," she said, motioning her finger for me to come towards her. Considering this was a WOMEN'S CLOTHING STORE, I had no idea what to expect.

As I walked up to her, she quickly grabbed my hand, snuck me into the dressing room, and quietly shut the door.

"What are you doing!? And I don't see any men's clothing in here!" I whispered, trying hard not to laugh.
Hayley smiled. "Just go with it."

In an instant, her hands were around my face, and she kissed me. It was a passionate kiss like none other. Her lip gloss tasted sweet; her lips as soft as one would imagine. Like instinct, I placed one hand on her cheek and the other just behind her ear. Her tongue softly glided along my bottom lip, then traced the inner outline of my mouth. I could hardly contain myself.

The whole thing felt surreal. I was trying to be there in the moment, but I couldn't get the thought out of my head that nobody was going to believe something this bizarre was happening to me.

Before I knew it, we were full throttle making out as though it was the last time we were ever going to see each other.

"Hayley?" I asked, pulling away briefly.
"Yeah?" she responded, staring face to face, still holding one another.
"When are you leaving?"
"Tomorrow," she sighed, this time looking away as if she were the shy one.

"Oh boy."
"Yeah," she nodded in agreement, as though we could read other's minds.


We stood there for a moment in silence, playing with each other's hands, until I could hear movement outside the dressing room.

"Let's go," I suggested.

~/~

At dinner that night, we talked about the crazy chain of events that had just happened, how we felt about it, and what we were going to do the next time she was in town.

"This is tough, Hayley," I complained.

"I know," she agreed. "I wasn't expecting this at all. It's not like I meet people like you all the time, ya know? I travel from city to city, with people, like, all wanting to meet me and jump at the chance. These fans know what we do as a band. They know our music. They know our names. But I don't think I ever give them the chance to truly know me. Like, an autograph here, a hug there. It's so like, impersonal, ya know?"

"I hear ya." I tried to get where she was coming from. I nodded to let her know I understood what she meant as I unraveled the fancily folded cloth napkin.

"To be honest," she admitted, "I knew you were in the next aisle over. I saw you walk by the first time. Then I overheard you talking about getting your nephew something, and it just seemed so...nice. So down to earth. Like, you're living real life. Something I don't get to really experience everyday. I never really get to live that home life, ya know?"

I pondered for a second. "Do you miss it?" I asked.

"Sometimes. There's pros and cons, I guess. I love playing music and being with my friends, but there's times where I wish I could settle down and do something like...this," she sulked. I noticed there was a hint of sadness behind her eyes. The candlelight was dancing gracefully, lighting every curve and feature of her face, accentuating the color in her hair.

"You know, you're 'living the dream' to a lot of people. I guess that 'dream' comes at a price, huh?"
"Hmm," she chuckled, her eyes looking away as though she were really giving my comment some thought. "Hey!" she exclaimed, snapping out of her daze. "Did you know I was in the next aisle too?"
I laughed, trying to fight off the embarrassment. "Maybe," I winked slyly.
"Busted! I knew it!" That smile was back.
I playfully squinted. "Well," I said, "maybe we were meant to run into each other again."
"I think so, Chris," she said, her voice drifting off.


Yet another moment of silence.


"Oh boy," she sighed.
"Yeah..." I nodded, as she reached out and placed her hand on mine, which was sitting on the table.


I lifted her hand and softly kissed it, slowly closing my eyes as I held her hand to my lips.




I don't think I'll be seeing Hayley Williams again.

~/~


And then I woke up.

love. peace.